Bigger Challenge - Accepted

After finishing the KM100 and waiting for the tears to fall and emotions to take over...none of which happened...I declared that I might need a bigger challenge.  Not that KM100 wasn't plenty tough.  EVERY 100 mile race is tough.  It's 100 miles!  Whelp, I found the next challenge.  It is called the HURT100.  I will start this journey on January 19, 2013 at 6 am in the mountains above Honolulu.  100 miles in a semi-tropical rainforest, 24,500 feet of elevation gain, 20 stream crossings, terrain like I've never seen before, and 36 hours to complete this task.  If this doesn't bring me to tears...

Course Photos - here is a link to some photos of the course taken by Robert Smith.

Profiling HURT - here is a link to a video clip from the course

I am not looking to cry just to cry, I could watch Lifetime for that.  I am not looking for the holy hell I hurt so bad I have to cry kind of cry.  I am looking for something big.  Something that that will break me down and build me back up.  Something life changing.  I want it to chew me up and spit out a better version of who I am.  Self-discovery.  We'll see what happens.

In the meantime, I have a little less than 5 months to train.  Plenty of time if I don't procrastinate.  I have watched videos, read tons of race reports, talked to people who have run the race to get perspective and training tips.  Now I just need to put together a plan and execute.

I am extremely lucky, and feel my chances of finishing this beast are increased significantly, to have an amazing pacer and crew come out with me.  Leah will be there to pace me.  Gosh I trust her like nothing else in this role.  She is simply the best!  Tifanie will be there with her calming demeanor and infinite knowledge about everything outdoors to crew.  My dad will be there for his very first running event to crew and help Leah and Tif with whatever they might need.  Words can not express how grateful I am to have these people with me.

Let the training begin!

Elevation Profile

Got roots?

          
        

100 Miles

Saturday morning 4:30 am the alarm rings and it's finally go time.  I've been waiting for this moment for what seemed like forever.  I was feeling a little bit jittery and very excited.  So I put on my clothes and head for the door with my awesome crew and pacer.  We arrive at the start around 5:30 to take care of last minute preparations.  I felt like a princess - in an ultra running sorta way.  Instead of hair spray it was bug spray and sunscreen, instead of a broach being pinned on on my outfit it was my bib, instead of a corsage on my wrist it was a timing chip placed around my ankle, my pedicure consisted of a vaseline rub down.  It was GREAT!

My Honey Badgers...Leah & Eric. I LOVE you guys!

Now the waiting.

While waiting I got to see my mom, brother, and son who came to cheer me on and work the Scuppernong aid station.  I was so happy to see them!  I also got to see so many friends who were about to embark on this journey with me and wish them well.  This felt like the longest 10 minutes of my life!

I was so happy to find mom and Elias before the start of the race.

And we're off...

I was expecting the jittery feeling to subside the moment I started running - but it didn't.  It was there full force.  My mood was surprisingly sour.  I couldn't figure out how to pull out of this mental hole.  I found myself running in the middle of a pack of friends I've run with many times before.  I am a very quiet runner.  I like to listen to conversation with minimal participation, and typically I enjoy the distraction.  Not this time.  We stayed in this pack for a while and I was telling myself I just need some time to settle into a pace and I'll start to feel better.  It took 20+ miles to pull out of this funk.  Finally!  I found myself happy to be running and able to visualize my race - what an incredible feeling!  What happened?  I don't know.  I think I just needed some time alone to clear my head and visualize my day and night.  My life has been so "noisy" lately - I think I just needed a little quiet time.

Move on through those aid stations.

My plan with Leah and Eric was to spend as little time as possible in the aid stations and boy did they stick to this plan.  I would come in and they were there with a plate of food they knew I'd like (blackberries, potato chips, PB&J), camel back stripped off, refilled, chapstick, sunscreen, hydration...GO!  And it all happened that fast.  It was like a well oiled machine.  They were extraordinary.  Having them there to support me was just a blessing.  They gave me the confidence I needed to press on - they could read my every move and sluggish step - they knew exactly what to do and when.  Gosh I love those guys!

Crew and pacers get a little down time.  They worked hard and earned this little break.

So in sync with my crew.  Eric walking me out of the aid station giving a pep talk I'm sure.

Struggles.

One hundred miles does not come without it's share of struggles. I've written about the first 20.  Twenty through sixty-seven was surprisingly easy with no physical or mental pain.  I picked up my rock star pacer, Leah, at 62 and we headed out into the night.  I felt great!  It only took 5 miles for that great feeling to turn into doubt.  Quit.  Just typing that word makes me cringe!  At Tamarack (67) I sat down, on the verge of tears questioning my ability to go on.  Why?  I was physically able to go on.  I think I got scared.  Scared of the night, of failure, of the what if's.  What if I get hurt out there, what if I need medical attention and we have no quick way to get help, what if I'm not ready for this?  Leah, Ian, and Carol huddled around and assured me that I would not die.  They joined together and gave me the strength I needed to get out of that aid station and continue on.  Luckily, this was the one and only time I doubted my ability and was lucky to be surrounded by an amazing group of friends to help me through.

There were other small struggles through the night that Leah was able to pick up on and address before I was even aware of the potential problem.  At one point she noticed that I was getting tired and loopy.  I don't take the caffeine pills or 5 hour energy or anything like that.  I remember her handing me a water bottle that tasted "funny" - funny like grape.  I asked about it and she said, I must have put my nuun (or something like that) in your bottle by accident...now lets run.  Later she told me about my sluggish ways and how she had to sneak some caffeine into me.  She knows me well because sneaking is the only way that was going to happen. 

Best aid station ever!  Thank you Carol for your support throughout.  Especially when I came in at 67.  You, Ian, and Leah were the best in helping me through my little "hiccup". 

Special Moments.

Seeing my kids was such a lift for me - this made me smile and want to cry each and every time.  Elias, my 16 year old, made his way out onto the trail at some point. I wish I could remember when, but it was before Scuppernong.  I was running and there he was walking toward me.  It had already been such an emotional day and holding back these tears was SOOOO hard.  Having a teenager is tough.  There is normally a good amount of friction between us.  Out on the trail that was all gone.  He had an appreciation for what I was doing.  We talked more during these miles on the trail than we have in months.  It was a dream come true.  If I could have that with my kid every time I run 100 miles - I'd do it every damn weekend.

Elias surprised me and met me out on the trail.  Best moment ever!

Need a pick me up?  Hugs from kids do the trick:-)

On the way out to Rice Lake when we reached the top of the stairs - tired, exhausted - Leah pointed out the beautiful view.  There was a bench and we sat silently for a few minutes looking at what we just climbed under the full moon.  It was like stopping to smell the roses.  It gave me the energy to make it to the next aid station.  And soon the sun would be rising.

The last 7 miles I "ran" with Leah, Eric, and Elias.  It hurt like hell - but it is weirdly like childbirth in the way that you forget the bad and the good takes over.  I remember the powerful feeling of "I'll never do this again" which quickly changed to "Yeah, that hurt but the good was so much better than the bad."  This stretch was so special because I had these people by my side.  And then the final stretch Michael and Jack were there to run it across the finish with me.  Melt my heart!  I could cry just writing about it.

I had a vision in my head about crossing the finish line and it being a highly emotional event.  It was a great feeling - it was special - it felt like I accomplished something big.  But, it wasn't nearly the emotional charge I had anticipated.  Maybe this just means I need a bigger challenge.  We'll see.  To be continued...

100 Miles and done...thank you Leah & Eric for your amazing friendship and support.  Thank you mom, Elias, Jack, and Michael for being there for me, seeing you gave me tons of strength.  Thank you Jeff for your support in teaching our children about supporting family and achieving goals.  I love you all.  

Bad Ass buckle!  Thank you, Leah!

Finish time 27:40:18

Checkpoint Mileage Time Pace   Distance Time Pace  Nordic Center Start  0.000  28.1 seconds     Emma Carlin Outbound  15.800  3:12:31.5   12:11.1  Scuppernong Turnaround  31.600  7:00:34.3   13:18.6   15.80  3:48:02.8   14:26.0  Emma Carlin Inbound  47.400  11:02:44.8   13:58.9   15.80  4:02:10.5   15:19.7  Nordic Center 100K  63.200  15:18:02.3   14:31.6   15.80  4:15:17.5   16:09.5  Hwy 12 - Outbound  77.500  19:41:48.5   15:14.9   14.30  4:23:46.2   18:26.7  Rice Lake Turnaround  81.900  21:19:54.1   15:37.7   4.40  1:38:05.5   22:17.6  Hwy 12 - Inbound  86.300  23:08:02.2   16:05.0   4.40  1:48:08.1   24:34.6  Nordic Center Finish  100.600  27:40:18.4   16:30.2   14.30  4:32:16.1   19:02.4

The 5 Week Taper

What's one to do with an injury 5 weeks prior to the big dance?  What are the choices?  a.) continue to run and risk further injury  b.) cry like a baby and use it as an excuse to withdraw from the race  c.)  enjoy some extra taper time and show up at the start line nice and rested and hopefully injury free.  I am going with "C" all the way.

I don't know exactly what happened.  I've trained for this race for months injury free, symptom free, pain free.  Last weekend at Horseriders, out of the blue, I started experiencing pain in my Achilles and calf.  I finished the 27 miles I signed up for and I'd say about 20 of the miles were pretty painful.  Good practice pushing through the pain for KM or stupid move on my part - I'm not sure yet.  I knew I didn't want to practice quitting.  I ended up with a lot of swelling and bruising so decided to give it a rest for a bit.  I've been icing, elevating, and popping anti-inflammatories.  I am taking a break from running until it feels fully recovered or June 2nd, whichever comes first.  Only 31 days away! 

Though it's difficult not running, I feel surprisingly at ease.  I feel physically ready for KM, well aside from this little injury.  I feel mentally prepared for the challenge.  I know that I am going to wake up on June 2nd, pin on a bib, and move forward for 100 miles or 30 hours.  I understand a lot can happen over the course of 100 miles and I will address those things as they're thrown at me.  Self-doubt or worrying about what might happen is not an option right now.  I have complete confidence in, and am so thankful for, my rock star crew and pace team - Eric and Leah.  I have run many miles with them and have an amazing level of comfort in their ability to keep me moving and focused on the goal.

I am really looking forward to this day.  There will be so many people from our little running community out there running or supporting or cheering - but I think mostly running!  It's going to be a 100 mile long party - WOOHOO!!!  Bring it on. 


             

Single Digits

The "weeks til go time" countdown is now in single digits.  WOW!  Nine weeks left to train - three of those weeks in taper mode - which means I have six weeks of hard core, no wimps allowed, go hard or go home training ahead of me.  I've given up on being nervous and have thrown myself into terribly excited about this 100 mile adventure.

Until recently I had a coach mapping out my plan and monitoring my progress.  Though I love the idea of having this person to help me and hold me accountable, I learned that my lifestyle isn't conducive to following a rigid plan.  I require a fair amount of flexibility.  I didn't want to let the coach down week after week so we parted ways.  I would say that I successfully completed most of the workouts she planned for me, but it added an element of stress.  So, now I am going to spend some time pulling these last 9 weeks together and hope for the best.

I am thrilled that two of these weekend training runs will be pacing some great friends.  I feel honored that they are sharing their journeys with me.  I will pace Leah at Umstead 100 this weekend and ring in her birthday out on the trail.  I will pace Eric at Pottawatomie 150 and be out there running through the nights.  Yes, plural!  I don't know for sure, but I feel that using pacing as part of the overall training can be very beneficial for the big day.  While pacing I get to witness what happens physically and mentally in the later miles of the race, I get to brainstorm coping strategies, run through the night, practice walking, get lots of time on feet.  And the best part, I get to witness the sweet reward of the finish line through these amazing athletes.  So my new plan has two weekends covered, now to fill in the rest:-)


And my ADD will take this post in another direction now...

Last weekend I ran the Gorge Waterfalls 50k in Oregon.  I have never in my life seen something so amazingly beautiful.  I have shared Tara's pictures on FB - but here are just a couple of shots.  I would absolutely recommend this go on every runners bucket list.  Enjoy!

This is something out of a storybook...stunning beauty all around

Waterfalls everywhere - over 70 falls on the 50k course

And great friends to share the adventure with - priceless!

    Time to start planning!

      

Lucky 13

Thirteen weeks until the gun goes off and this 100 mile race gets underway.  The butterflies are starting to flutter around when I think about how this time is going to fly and how much work I have yet to do to prepare.  The nervousness hasn't brought me to tears yet but, I bet it will before the big day gets here.

During my training I am experiencing runs that build my confidence and others that knock me flat on my ass.

Knock me on my ass run:  A couple of weeks ago a group of us went out to Kettle to run 20 on a Saturday morning.  I was very excited to go out and experience a 10 mile stretch of the actual course...until I got there and started running.  The trails were covered in deep snow, my water was frozen, the climbs were tough, the pace was pitiful, my attitude couldn't have been worse.  I felt terrible for Brian because he had to listen to me em eff the course for 10 miles until we met up with the others.  Turning around at mile 10, knowing that we were more than half way done, picking up some friends who were extremely positive and happy to be out there, really helped my spirits.  When we finished the run it was such a great feeling...great to be done...great that I finished what I set out to do...again, great to be done.

The lesson learned from this run is that my mind can make or break the big race.  If I go into KM with the attitude I had during this training run, there's no doubt that I will fail.  Something to work on over the next 13 weeks.

Confidence builders:  The good news is I've had more in this category than the other.  I had a weekend where I ran long at VA and then ran long on the IPP the following day.  Felt great - not a stitch of soreness.  I paced the Snickers Marathon while feeling under the weather and finished on target.  I've been getting in some hill work and following the schedule the coach set out for me.  The mileage is increasing and I'm excited to work hard in order to make this happen.  I can only hope for many more of these confidence builders in the coming months.  I have a great group of running friends whose company during these runs helps keep me on track and make the miles just fly by.

I think that maybe we are supposed to experience these difficult runs during our training so we can learn something about ourselves and reflect back during tough times in a race.  Though I hope that my good runs outnumber the bad runs by A LOT - I will make sure to try and find the lessons from  the bad and learn from them.








 

                   

The race calendar

I was looking at my google calendar to make sure that all of the races I am aware I've signed up for have been entered.  Then cross referenced that with the events I am attending according to Facebook.  Then went through my email race registration confirmations to make sure nothing was left out.  Phew...I think all is in order now.  I hope it is all in order. 

Unfortunately I've discovered that there's not a lot of extra time to add more races to this schedule. There are so many fun / cool / beautiful races out there I'd like to run...but only so many weekends in a year and only so many of those that can be spent away from home racing.  So what does one do?  There are certain races that I just love and couldn't see not doing year after year.  But I will make some tough choices and eliminate a favorite for a bucket list item or two each year...starting next year.

My 2012 race schedule:

14-Jan	Frosty 50	31
3-Mar	Pacing Snickers	26.2
25-Mar	Gorge Waterfalls	31
14-Apr	Potawatomi	50
2-Jun	KM100	100
15-Jun	Chatt Stage Race	60
14-Jul	Dances with Dirt	50
28-Jul	Sunburn 6/12 hour	50
16-Sep	Pace Fox Valley	26.2
7-Oct	Pace Lakefront	26.2
27-Oct	JJ100	100
1-Dec	Tecumseh	26.2
14-Dec	Lookout Mountain 50	50
Total Race Miles:		626.8

         
Looking forward to each and every one of these adventures.  I love the physical challenge, the race atmosphere, the amazing trails, the ultra aid stations with cookies and chips, the great friends, and ahhhhh - the finish.

Oh, and the training for KM100 is going great!

Balls in the air

Sixteen weeks and 4 days until the big day.  Time is flying so fast I feel like I'm riding in an X43.  When did we enter February?  I had an invitation from Jack's classmate hanging on my fridge...I looked at it yesterday and was going to RSVP...ooops, the party was on Sunday, February 5th. 

Juggling kids, home, career, running...with multiple to-do's under each of the categories has been quite challenging lately.  I can easily prioritize these 4 categories but struggle with the lists within the categories and mingling them all together to come up with a work/home/run/family balance that keeps everyone affected happy.  Though, the only one complaining is me so I should probably just spend this time and energy being productive ;)

Last weekend I made plans to meet Tifanie at the Arb for a morning run.  I woke up early, got all of my gear together, dressed, and ready to go.  Michael walks up to me and asks if I am going running and am I running outside or downstairs.  I told him outside.  He gave me the sad eyes and asked me if I could run downstairs instead.  Normally I would stick to the plan, give him a kiss, tell him mommy will be back soon.  This day I decided to drop the ball.  I kicked off my shoes, took off my coat, sent my apologies to Tif, and snuggled on the couch with that sweet little angel.  No regrets!  His excitement and smile was so worth it!  (I got my run in later...guilt free) 

My snuggle bug...how could I resist?

Dunkin Donuts...the greatest place on earth when you're 3 & 5

Mikey and his monkey...love his style!

  
Training is going well - I am getting in most of my miles - feeling good - injury free.  We have had perfect running weather so far this winter.  Last Tuesday at EPIC it was so nice we got to enjoy a parking lot post party- summer style.  Good times! 

Looking forward to kicking this week off right with an EPIC Tuesday run tonight.