The HURT was definitely one of the most challenging courses I've ever encountered. During my training I looked at many pictures of the course and watched some video clips but those did not do it justice. The HURT course is a gnarly 20 mile loop (x5) with massive climbs, roots, boulders, rocks. It is also the most beautiful place I've ever seen. I was in heaven and hell at the same time.
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| Race Start |
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| 20 minutes til race start |
Lined up at the start I remember being so nervous. It was still dark outside and I had no idea what I was in for. I cried a little bit. Why, I don't know. Fear of the unknown? Wild pigs? Broken bones? Falling off cliffs? Fear of failure? Fear of something. The conch blew and we were off. It didn't take long for me to settle in and start to enjoy the journey. Coming out of the gate I followed the lead of some runners who have done this before...like 10 times, 4 times. I will never forget the group I was with for a short time. Monica, Mike, and Claude. These amazing runners...HURT finishers, Badwater Finishers...took the time to show me the ropes, give me pointers, make me laugh. I felt very lucky to be in such good company. So, if they hiked I hiked. If they ran I ran. Unfortunately as the race goes on everyone gets split up.
The first 20 mile loop I felt fantastic. I made it through the entire course in decent time and with a smile on my face. I was feeling on top of the world. I made it through loop one without a single fall! I CAN DO THIS!
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| Aid Station 1 - I think I'm going to be alright |
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| Aid Station 2 - hanging out with a bad ass - feeling great |
When I got to the third aid station my crew was there waiting with my favorite foods, a beer ( 1 beer per loop was the plan ), and encouraging words. In and out in 7 minutes. We weren't playing around. They were so great!
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| Tif, Leah, and Dad...best pace / crew team a girl can ask for! |
The course is set up with 3 aid stations. Out of each aid station you CLIMB for some number of miles then you "descend" into the next AS. Though I felt a lot of climbing on these descents. As you are climbing out, you see those coming in on their descents. The facial expressions on those headed into an aid station vs. those on their way out is like night and day. Heaven and Hell.
Loop 2: miles 20 - 40. Heading out of the Nature Center I was on top of the world. Listened to some music, took in the sights, and ran my race. There was a runnable section as I was heading into Paradise Park where you turn a corner and happen upon a nice section of roots. Why not, right? I typically do not pay close attention to courses so I didn't remember this from loop 1. Otherwise I would have been more careful. I took a good spill on those roots and am still sporting a lump on my shin bone. It is my souvenir:-) I dusted myself off, saw my crew for a couple of minutes, and back out for more. Still feeling great. Repeat this drill (sans the fall) into Nu'uanu.
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| where I fell...i think it was up toward the top of this picture |
From Nu'uanu back to the Nature Center (miles 33 - 40) is where everything just fell apart for me. And really not until the last few miles of that leg. Once the sun set I had to start moving at a much slower clip. Much slower. During these few miles I did some math in my head and realized that the pace during the night would set me back to a point where I would not make cutoff. This made me very sad and terribly discouraged. There was really no way I was going to have enough time to complete the race I came here to do. I couldn't turn the negativity off in my head. I didn't want to climb out of another aid station because that was a real bitch and what was the point? I quit on myself. I quit on my pacer and crew. It was a shitty feeling.
They did get me to go back out. Between my crew and Stan Jensen I left the Nature Center with Leah and headed out into the night. I wasn't happy about it - but I did it. I thank those responsible for getting me back there.
Poor Leah had to deal with my bratty attitude. The climbing was HARD and I was pissy. Huffing, puffing, and rolling my eyes. We were not running, but I was stopping every 10 minutes just to catch my breath on the climb. I did not care about anything. When I had to do something with my shoe I sat down on the trail which was littered with the BIG hawaiin roaches and I didn't give a damn. The turning point with my attitude happened when Leah, out of nowhere, barked like some bull mastiff and I heard something large run into the forest. I stopped and she yelled get the f over here - let's go. Okay! How that noise came out of such a little girl is beyond me. I think she just saved me from a killer fauna :-) So we keep moving and I'm feeling better and can feel where the trail levels off and we start heading down. I like this. But, heading into Paradise Park there's a lot of down toward the AS and I am seeing people as they are heading up. It is not just climbing. It is climbing with a bunch of boulders, roots, very narrow pathways. I am watching their painful facial expressions. I am wondering if I want to do this again. In my mind at the time I did not want to do that again. That is the moment I quit. The next day...and every day thereafter I have kicked myself in the ass for not making the next climb. I have played over in my mind a million times the moment I turned in my bib. I can't blame anyone but myself. My crew was not about to let me quit - but they couldn't carry me back to the course otherwise I'm sure they would have. I knew I had some lifelines. I had people I could call for encouragement and people lined up to tell me why I was there and question my motives...but I chose not to make those calls. I had access to the www so I could read all of the encouraging words people were posting on my wall. I had things lined up to read in case I ended up in this dark place. I chose not to read these things. The only thing wrong with me when I stopped was my brain. Physically I was perfectly fine. Leah and I climbed a huge hill 2 days later. I had no problem walking. I had no injuries. Just a weak brain. Why didn't I just try for the 100k (even though there is no 100k). No excuses.
I am going to try again next year if I am lucky enough to hit the lottery a second time. I will not let myself fail again. By fail I mean quit. I wouldn't feel like I failed if I continued on...if I did everything in my power to get as far as I could before getting pulled. I learned a lot about myself and the power of negativity.
Until next year...
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